Knowin

Dating etiquette. Wouldn't it be nice if someone taught a class? If you miss an assignment, you are not allowed to move on until the assignment is made up. One would be graded on behavior deemed acceptable or not and the reaction and action to different situations. Instead of advancing to the next grade level, the progress would be rewarded with different sexual treats/favors. How grand would that be? There would a step by step manual on what to do and what not to do. Unfortunately, no manual or class exists and therefore we are cast to the wolves, in hopes of making it back in time for dinner. With all the ways to communicate now a days, it's a wonder how we as people still have a time expressing our true feelings. When dating it's soooooo against the rules of engagement to express true real emotion. The deal is simple and surface. Save all drama, complications, feelings for friends and family. When dating, it's almost like make believe. Two play pretend that the world as we know it is grand. Sure we touch on the usual current events, war, crime, politics, religion, art and the school system and most don't really get past what happen on last nights sitcoms or the playoffs. The point is, it's easy. You gotta know when to say when. You feel yourself falling in like or in love, it's time to throw in the towel. Let it go and move on to the next. We get all dressed up, get all smelling good or sometimes we plucked from the garden of single in our most chill attire. In our most laxed state, one might be under the presumption in a more relaxed frame of mind, the prey is easily hunted. The more mileage between self and familiarity makes the attacker that much more bold. Now when approached properly and the juices get going and all the getting to know each other is well underway, that's when the fun begins. Everyone (hopefully) wants to keep up the great representation. No one wants to appear desperate and weak. No one wants to come across as eager but has to manage to let their interest be known. Balance and patience. One must remain calm and composed but not too cool. You don't want to be an open book but you don't want to be a barrier tougher than the Great Wall. So how is it done correctly? Is there any one path to follow or formula to remember? Oh hells nah, never dat. People are ever changing and so are the rules. One thing that remains is "All is fair in love and war" and "To the Victor go the spoils." Dangerous words but oh so true. Never feel like or act like you are the victim. If you get stood up, then make it clear you found something better to do with your time. Let it be known, you are in control of your life, your fun and your personal pleasure. You wait for no one. Know you place...play your part. Know when to call or not to call or when you are calling too much. Know when to throw in the towel and when you're in too deep. If you cannot tell the difference between the surface and simple from the serious and sincere, you're in trouble. Don't mistake attention and affection for love. Know what's allowed and what's not. Be honest about it. If you're getting all caught up and you don't think your partner is ready to embark on that journey with you, I recommend a different path. If you find, the jokes are always lost in translation and you're get in your feelings more often than normal, chances are it's time to make a move. What do you do? Once you put your truth out there, you are subject to whatever fate wishes. Don't wait until it's too late. The second you notice the shift, confront it. Don't feel it and then let those feelings grow in hopes they will be returned. It makes the blow so much worse when it's not. One will either reciprocate or not. Don't worry about rejection, think of it as protection. The sooner you spill the real, the sooner you get the truth about your part in the play. It's a game and like chess, think three moves ahead. Expect the best and be prepared for anything. When you take the stage, you are the star, let no one steal your show.

Sawaru (Touch)

All over the world, people are experience the amazing power of touch. The phenomenal healing sustenance it contains. Domesticated animals crave for someone to pet them. There is a soothing calm brought about only from touch. How easily one can melt from a simple hug or caress. Sometimes the worst battles, arguments and feuds are ended with a hug, graze of the arm, or better yet, a kiss. How amazing one can transform another from just reaching out and touching them. Wonder what it is about touch that can erase a inner madness. Touch can relieve pain or ignite passion. You can be touched tenderly to mend a broken heart or ease tears. A pat on the back for good job or a pat on the but for a great play. A high five in agreement or a handshake for a greeting! Body language on such a personal level and yet looked at as not so personal at all. Oddly enough it is the root of healing, the base for our one true purpose, reproduction. Even though technology has now made it possible for said purpose to be possible without touch. Nine times out of ten, things are pretty much done the old fashion way. So one has to recognize and appreciate the power, the glory, the beauty in touch. It all starts with that. A hello or a hi via words or a smile, a glance or an uncontrollable stare, it will either begin or end in physical contact. Contact. Take a second to absorb that word for all it's worth. Say it slowly and let it roll around in your mind and over your tongue mimicking the actions of waves in the ocean.

Sexy Mysteries

Surprises are not always good. Does everyone here the drum roll when they are about to see a new sexual partner naked for the first time? Or is just me? Are you secretly saying prayers like please God, don't let him have webbed feet or please Lord don't let her have more hair on her than I do? Are you scared and waiting in wild anticipation to see whether or not the person you are about to let sweat all over you has a huge mole on there chest, so as ya'll stroking that's all you see? Does anyone often wonder...what his toes look like? Is he freckled or does he have back fat? Is his ass as cute naked as it is in those jeans? When dating and mingling and meeting new people. You know upon introduction what they look like and whether or not you are attracted to them. However, you don't know if what is hidden beneath the surface is equally appealing. Guys pretty much have it easy, you know how much chest, hips and butt a woman has and she could be wearing a whale suit. Yet with a man, there isn't much that tells us about his chest, arms and nether regions. I mean sure, if its summer and he's in a speedo, then you pretty know what your going get. But anywhere else, any other time of the year, it's that whole "box of chocolates" thing. I met a gentleman in the winter, at a gas station. Full on big coat & hat. When we made it to dinner a week later, I wanted to run. He was fat & balding. I met a man, that was talk, dark and handsome. The real strong, silent type...when we got intimate, he was hairier than a bear. It was cute on him, but I wasn't even hardly sure how I felt about body hair until it was staring me in my face. I used to know this real hot, built guy. He had muscles everywhere, just body for days; looked like he could feed a small village with his pecks and stop an entire army with his calves. And normally, I am not into guys like that, but one has to appreciate fine artwork when its presence. So if he was a sculpture, he would definitely be the David. Now of course, all encounters are not that disappointing. Sometimes you see a lil more and are like yes. Inside you are jumping for joy, oh yeah oh yeah. You are sitting there, lying there, whatever position you are in and you are trying to maintain your sexy, cool demeanor when inside there is a full on celebration complete with streamers and confetti. It's just not fair, for lack of a better words. Guys get to see and we don't. When a man is disrobing for a woman for the first time we understand that you are nervous...but we are equally nervous. Sex is close and so hair, moles, webs, uncontrollable body odor; all that needs to be discussed, revealed before the act. Now a lil corn on your pinky toe, not so bad but hair or teeth that can or must be removed, that type of information should definitely be disclosed before you get hot and heavy with a person. There is certain date etiquette that will be discussed in further details as this blog blossoms; but know that not telling a person you plan on sleeping with about a major flaw is a major no no. That is just not nice. Ladies, the same thing applies. Don't get a man all steamed,and ready to go and then not be clean shaven (or hell) not be clean. That is the worse. I hear too many a fine men say that she was fly, lingerie on, oiled all up, hair and nails did, but she was not so fresh. They get confused. They get lost and they run for the hills. You sitting around wondering why he never called you again. Ladies make sure your weave is tight. That is another thing one can't really notice til they all up in the mix. Dandruff is a no no, old tracks, a no no. Stinky braids...a no no. Don't let your body tell on you. Be good to your body. Gentleman, there are all types of products that can make your member smell wonderful. Try eating better, more fruits and vegetables and water. And please cut back on the smoking. All of that effects the taste of your spunk. Ladies you know what to do, fellas...if you don't know, ask. Let's be more open, honest and confident and let's cut back on some of these surprises.

Dirty Laundry

Funny how life can change you. Change is the inevitable. Change is life and as life progresses and one grows old you pick up things along the way. People, memories, songs, dirt, secrets, lies and hopefully some real decent honorable things as well. It's beautiful to reflect on all the positive things, good times and happy memories. It's quite pleasant when a smell or song triggers a memory that makes you smile. Even though, there are millions of methods for dealing with problems, stress and despair. There are all types of ways to calm the body, soothe the mind and relax the soul. I believe in them all and am a strong advocate for alternative relaxation therapies of all sorts. However, sometimes...just sometimes, it's OK to say F*%$ IT! And mean it. I have grown to a place, well actually, I have always done this. I ride the situation out to the very end. I pray and handle it, until result remains that I just must separate myself. Once I detach, I like to make a clean sweep. I like to make a cool getaway. If it has come to the point that I must no longer be apart or involved in any one thing. I cut the ties. I don't burn bridges, but once it's over, it's over. I don't believe in dirty laundry. I don't believe in looking back. Sure, when it comes to knowing your roots and your background and all that jazz, yeah, look back...it's a blueprint or can be a blueprint, to where you might be headed. Yet, in the sense of relationships and even some friendships. When you outgrow a situation and or a person; it's OK to move on with your life. So many people feel you have to be friends after a break up. No you don't. Why carry all them bags? Now if the breakup is simple enough and no real harm was done during the course of the relationship, then by all means, be friends. It's a case by case basis; to be friends or not friends with an ex lover is totally dependent on the people involved. If one party does not wish to communicate with other after it's all said and done, that's OK. Again, one can cut the ties and not burn bridges. When someone does you wrong, you must forgive. Yes you must! But forgiveness does not mean that you have to know that person and constantly be reminded of the wrong they did. There is no reason to keep a person in your life if they do not lift you up in any way, shape or form. The knowing becomes stagnant. Growth and Change, go hand in hand. So if you keep a person around and don't learn anything from that person, you are not growing. They are not stimulating development, they are hindering it. The time shared with that person who is not putting anything into your mind, body or soul, could be spent enriching your inner being. Think about it. Is it really necessary to remain friends with an ex, if you really don't want to? Define friendship and then ask yourself, how many people in your life serve a purpose and how many people are just sucking the energy out of you?

Ever and Ever

Have you ever been totally shocked and amazed? Have you ever exchanged digits with someone you would never? But in the end so happy that you did. Have you ever been surprised at how much you have in common with a stranger? Then found yourself addicted to their persona. Have you ever been shocked by how a the spirit of another can change you? Your soul calls to them and they ablige. Ever been amazed by how much a positive influence another can have on you? So much that you can read them from miles away. Have you ever found yourself exposed? Wide open to trying, doing, saying and participating in things you never ever imagined? Growing, evolving, learning. Ever done things you said you would never? Blossoming. Has anyone ever made you WANT to do things you said you would never? Experiment. Have you ever wanted/craved those new and unheard things to be done to you again and again and again on repeat? New found addictions. Have you ever been so sure of who are and what you about and then have a situation come in alter that? Chaos and confusion makes more appreciative of the peace. Ever had time make minor alterations that you did not give the OK for? Change is inevitable, embrace it. Ever found your once-so-sure self, not so sure? Suddenly? It's ok. Shake things up a bit. Have you ever been pulled towards or drawn to someone? Let go, it's beyond your control. Have you ever faked when you knew the real? No need, life is bigger than the physical. The presence or force that is to be will be...don't fight it. Ever been afraid of the possibilities that this could really really really be forever? and ever? There is something far more grand than you can imagine at work. Have you ever been so caught up that you couldn't think, couldn't breathe, couldn't sleep? STOP! Slow down and be sure to breathe, think and rest. It's not that serious. Have you ever been so excited to hear voice or see face? I sure hope so. Have you ever denied love and paraded around like that was not the ultimate goal? No need, it'll happen whether you want it to or not. Have you ever lost track or changed focus? Making it all work is not a loss, more of a victory; JAI! Ever tasted something new and liked it soooooo much you wanted it more than food? One should want nothing more than nourishment, unless what got you geeking for is equally fulfilling. Have you ever had someone do some pretty amazing things to you in the bedroom, so amazing you wanted to tell everyone you knew but then didn't say a word, because you can't even believe it went down or just how nasty YOU got? oh, uh uh...you betta be careful with that one. If not, what on earth are you waiting for. Get out there, promise you'll have a great time.

Feet

Many people have many different opinions about feet. The average priss attends to her toes once week; but allows no more than two weeks to pass without regularly scheduled care. It's beyond personal maintenance, more like personal hygiene. Some like to see them with French tips, some like loud colors with crazy designs and some just like them plain. Guys look great with a fresh pedi too. Some act like their feet don't need any attention at all. Clueless. Some people have a foot fetish. This desire to lick, suck and touch feet and feel aroused from this act. Some have the same fetish when it comes to getting, licked, sucked and massaged. As a youngster, I couldn't understand the sexual chemistry that can be sparked simply from licking on someones toes. As I got older and began to understand chemistry a lil more, as I grew up and started getting licked, sucked and massaged, I totally understood. Some people have no desire for feet to touch them at all. No matter how much I enjoyed when my feet were catered to, I preferred that others keep their feet as far away from me as possible. I wanted nothing to do with anyone's feet other than my own. Now..all grown up (almost) I don't care. I don't mind giving pedicures, I like to show off. I am very gentle and attentive. I do one hell of pedicure with all types of skin enriching ingredients in the water. Some people shared my sensitivity to toes. It's like ewwwwww. But I am so wild and such the exhibitionist. I dance everywhere, including the tops of counter tops and tables (at home of course) and often times I am barefoot. I got into with a guy once about walking on his counter tops. Turned into this huge argument. I didn't understand the big deal, I was practically fresh out the shower...needless to say, we no longer speak. Flash forward to the present and no, I don't have sexy feet, but I do have cute feet and toes. And cute, gets you further than sexy sometimes.I like my feet. The average person has a blemish or two and flaws & all my toes get more attention than I ever imagined. I flaunt them shamelessly too. I love to take them out and test drive new shoes. Even when you remove, the licking, sucking and massaging and just carress foot to foot. Just to lay in bed next to someone and touch feet. Just to spoon with someone and your feet are spooned in too. Just to rub ankles, feet and toes. It brings about a certain intimacy, a certain relaxation. A certain connection. A soothing, calming, put-you-bed kinda thing. Yet all the while, slightly stimulating. It can be as invigorating as a robe off the towel warmer as you step out of the best bath/shower you've ever taken in your life or it can be as sweet as the perfect cup of tea. Feet...who new.

Passions

There have been times in the life of singledom that the citizens of said state feel a sense of calm. A peaceful, serene state of mind. In this state, confidence is at its all time, success might be just what it should be at the time and everything else in between just falls into place. In this state, you are so laxed and so sure, that you feel that when it comes to the dating scene, you pretty know what to do and what to expect. You feel almost like a know-it-all (in a humble way). Nothing surprises you and you don't expect any surprises. You feel you pretty much know the procedure and how to act. That can be tranquil and trouble. It's this calm sense of knowing, that gets you caught up when someone throws a curve ball. Your guards are down and although your senses are on high alert for any minor alteration in your regularly schedule program, you still don't know exactly what to do once you are thrown off your axis. And it ain't always gotta be a love thang, or a bad thing that gets you thrown. Nah, it can be the simplest thing like sex. If sex is ever simple. At times it can be. At times it's the simple sex that gets one all caught up. You think, you've done this before and oh it's nothing to it. Even the extra gets to be kind of regular. Then you get lucky and come across the person who excites you to know end. You are once again, shocked and amazed at this wonderful sexual experience you just took part in. When it's happening, you are like "For Real?" I thought I knew this, I thought I knew that. I was so sure and so confident, I had everything under control. I knew all my fantasies. Then you come across someone who ignites new fantasies. Who introduces you to new things, things you never even imagined. To state the obvious, I am a writer. Creative juices have polluted my veins my entire life and yet and still, there are things being done to people that I have never ever heard or, read about, wrote about or seen. I am pleased to see the sexual revolution in full swing and even happier to be apart of it. To all the gentleman who are patient, kind, generous lovers. To all the ladies who are real seductresses, giving Venus and Aphrodite a run for their money. Raise a toast to those who keep it fun, exciting, adventurous and oh so comical. There should be tears or pleasure, giggles of fleeting embarrassment, a fart or queef. A toast to the real love makers, real head board knockers and bedroom rockers, the real toe curlers. You know who you are. Those of you who spend as much money on lingerie as you do real clothes. Those of you who have more toys and trinkets than Toys R Us. Raise your glass to the sexpert who is sitting next to you looking real square and quiet. He/She got a secret that would cause earthquakes. The formula to seduction, to good sex, to a wonderfully exhilarating experience is confidence, with passion, with patience and curiosity. It takes one hell of a connection. Sometimes it's not love, it's something sweeter and simpler. It's almost easy, ya know, the calm before the storm. Sometimes it's so easy and simple that it can't nothing other than love. Whether you are in love or in like. In lust or in trouble, involved or in a state of evolution, breathe and be. Let your inhibitions free and encourage them to run wild.