Decison Time

I have been faced with a decision that I am not quite sure I am ready to make. I stand on the brink of change, at the presipous of the rest of my life and I don't know if I want to leap or stay grounded. In my current state, happiness is ever present but sheer joy if often fleeting. I have the power to change that and recreate this never ending, nonstop state of pure bliss. I basically have to decide if I want it now or I want to wait. I could keep my patience in tact and wait it out, but for how long? How will I know when I have wasted enough of my precious irreplaceable time? Of course no experience is a total loss or waste, with my incredible knack to find the silver lining in every cloud and the smarts to walk away having learned something. But for the sake of argument, it could turn out to be a waste. If I linger in this limbo any longer, I may miss out on what I want. The ship may sail and I will be left standing on the dock, watching my hopes, dreams and desires softly float away. When first approached with this proposal I shot it down immeadiately, no questions asked. When unknowlingly, it was just my fit. Just the thing I needed. I didn't see it then and parts of me refuse to see it now, but somethings you just cannot ignore. Now, later on, I am again presented with this and yet this time, faking and being flighty, wishy washy pacifying won't do it this time. It's time for a verdict. How many of you are guilty of this? Knowing what you know and still chosing to act like you don't. Play dumb and neglect the fact you are toying with someones emotions. Only thing is...do I wait for what may be more beneficial to my mind and soul in the future or jump head first in the black and white of what I want right now. Waiting does not come with a guarantee. So audience, the question is what to do? How often are forced to decide? How often have you had to choose to duck and run versus confronting it head on? Have you ever patiently waited for something and then got to the end of the waiting only to find you should not have? Have you ever chose, what you thought was right and it turned out to be all wrong. What to do? Sure you can pray about it and you hope that what you interpret to be the answer to your prayers is the right choice, but you have no way of knowing until you actually go through with it. Funny how life works. On it's own schedule. Never when you want it, but when it feels like it.