And The Winner Is...

ME!!! I chose me!(...readers are we even suprised? I mean really, who didn't see that one comming?) Moi. C'est Moi. Always moi. Without a shadow of doubt in my mind. Forever true to self. I have come to a realization: the decision was made for me. Predetermined by actions. In all fairness too. Lady justice is blind. I don't have to do anything. I simply had to review the facts. I had to assess the situation for what it is. Sure it means the world to me either way I go. However, I had to pull back and ponder over what I want for me and what God wants me. Right now, we both want for me to live and be joyful. Healthy and successful. Sure it's way deeper than that, but to simplify it, when I am faced with such a monumental decision, just relax. Don't let it weigh too heavy on the brain or that would cause clouded judgement. If you think about it too hard, then it becomes harder to think clearly and objectively. Oh, the heart, such a tricky tricky tool. It could really mess things up for one such as myself. I am so emotional and I am such a hopeless romantic. I believe love conquers all. I am so such an optimist, it's often blinding naivety. Whatever you want to call it, I am so impulsive it often leads to disappointment. There is no playing it safe when it comes love. Love takes no prisoners. I realized in my decision making process that my love of self will not allow me to be hasted into any one thing or another. I am in a phase and in this phase, the level I am at...some things require a period of learning. I have to learn the ins and outs of what I may be getting in to. I have to slow it down, breathe deep and ask myself my truest heart's desire(s). If it doesn't conform to any one of those, then I ain't wit it. If it doesn't measure, I don't have to do it. Just because the thought crossed my mind or it sounds good? I don't think so. I often find myself in trouble when I behave that way. Take your time ladies and gentleman. Go with you gut. Let go and Let God. Be sure to always trust and believe in you. Know you. Let not the work of the enemy sway you. Be confidant, be not boastful, but be not afraid to declare. Know what you deserve and never settle. Never ever ever settle. Keep your third eye open and please pay attention. It's all spelled out, you just have to read between the lines. Don't ever change who you are...make improvements and grow but never change. We are as God intended. Someone will love and appreciate you as you are in entirety. You will not be asked to change your hair, dress, style or makeup. (well unless you know, you're a hooker or stipper or escort) or given ultimatums. You won't be misunderstood, because if God means for you to be with that person, they'll get it. You won't have to explain, they'll just get you. They'll put forth the effort to learn you, feel you. Get on your level and meet you where you're at. And I don't mean that in the sense you are used to. I mean mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. Whatever you're into too. Be it yoga, meditate together. You rap, well studio time. You like to shop, VOGUE, anyone? You will be strong and grounded, rooted in the depths of faith, wisdom and love. Demand the respect you deserve and never settle for a love that does meet you on your level. Never dumb it down or lower yourself. That is just simply beneath you. Never feel like you have to do anything out of obligation. Time is precious and even tricky but worry not about such technicalities. Stay humble. Stay up. I was about to do something because part of me wanted to...I wasn't with it 110%. Sure parts of me, were ready to go at it full force. Come in guns blazing, unload the clip and wait for sentence. Something, someone, somewhere just kept telling me to wait. It might not be what it's cracked up to be. I will never know, but I am confidant and comfortable with my decision. I will not be forced, I will not be pushed! Pressure is only good between the sheets. I will continue to live this life as I fit. Ye Ha cowboy, Ye HA. If others can't get with the program, oh well...Exit stage left.