Monday, March 3, 2008

...Now Back to our Regularly Scheduled Program

Ohhhhhh where to begin. OK, with the good stuff. Hit my spot Sat night and got escorted right in. I mean as soon as he knew I was alone, he yelled for security to escort to me thru the gate. Ran into the nice bouncer later and had to thank him.I didn't even recognize him right away but once I realized who it was, I was sure to use my manners. It was not about the favor, it's about treating others how you would want to be treated. Even in the club, one can be respectable. I could tell he was very appreciative of that...most mofo's be ungrateful as hell... So I didn't wait in line and that was too vicious for words. Makin bitches hate me. Just dripping hate hate hate all over the place. Had a lot of fun talking in the ladies room, kept running into the same girls. One needed lotion and since I forgot my gum it was a fair trade. Hit the dance floor and made a couple rounds, made to sure to grab a seat in the cut whenever possible. There's something rather alluring about a silhouette in a dim corner overlooking the water. So when I hit the floor to dance for real, had to duck and dodge the lames. Fellas: HElllllllloooOooo out there, listen up, get closer to the screen, do whateva you gotta do, but get this message loud and clear....STOP RUNNING UP AND GRINDING YOU PENIS ALL UP ON SOME BOOTY AT THE MOFO CLUB. EUGH, EWWWWW GROSS MUCH! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!!!?? WE COME TO the CLUB NOT TO MEET YOU, BUT TO SHAKE OUR ASSES. THAT'S IT. That's why we come to the club with our girls or by ourselves, BC WE WANT TO DANCE, WITH OUR GIRLS OR ALONE. I got into VIP again. By myself. Wasn't no thang to sashay my smooth caramel hips right passed the bouncer and the velvet rope. The bitches that was in there was tired as hell. Not sleepy tired, just lame as shit. Eugh, such a misrepresentation. Oh, yeah ladies, I got some words for ya'll too. But you men out there, get the balls to ask for a dance. Yes, they still do that!!!!! Politely try to engage in convo off the dance floor. Take her to the bar, by her a drink and if it ain't poppin, don't trip. Move on to the next. Oh and if you can't afford to at least offer 2-3 drinks, stay yo' broke ass home. Trust that most of the ladies in there got their on money. So what else can you offer in the 0.5 seconds you were lucky enough to her get attention? It is definitely not your penis grindin on her too cute outfit. Eughhh, uh uh. Get with it.

Ladies....you bitches. Before I bust off, let me shout out to all my fly mommies in the club, in the car, at the gym and at the office. On campus and all that. Represent. Do you! When one is taking care of themselves it shows. When you don't, guess what, it shows. You bitches stop coming to the club funky, hair a mess. Stop tongue kissing the grimy nigga who just ran up grinding on you that you don't even know. Stop being all passed out in the club. That's not sexy. It's noooooootttttt! Niggas, stop encouraging that shit. Yeah, offer a sister a drink if she look like she can handle it. But how many real men, like all drunk, stanking passed out ass even if it is after the club??? Ladies, just cuz you got money and can buy yourself all the bottles you want. Models poppin bottles...ok. I can dig it. I do my thug too. But just because you can, don't mean you should. Know when you have had enough. If I can see you boo, so can everybody else. Do it, but it to it right. If your panties going be all hangin out, can they match your outfit or your shoes or your body jewelry or something??? Hell, they can match your damn pedicure or anything?! Just step it up a notch. How else are you going pull the respectable gentleman who wants to just hang and chill; maybe ask a lady to dance and politely escort her off the dance floor to buy her and maybe even all her girls a drink? Not to say that's what its about. It's sooo not. Hell I always leave with numbers that get deleted the next day because I cannot remember who the hell they are. It's just entertainment. It's all in fun. The thrill of the experience. I noticed women like me in the club all the time. We frequent some of the same locations and yet we always look right. Sexy socialites. Classy fun. Grown and sexy, not grown and sweaty. Come on, get with it.

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