Confession of the Single

Successful and driven. Powerful and ambitious. Fun loving and intriguing. Alluring, captivating, mesmerizing. Provocative. Productive and God fearing. Intelligent, smart, funny, everything. So many adjectives describe the single. The sexy single. Out here doing their thing, enjoying life, seizing the moment. Spending ample time with family and friends. Some even make time to serve their God and their communities. Some do it all, really and truly. They go out to social functions and attend all types of events, go to church faithfully, hit the club, the gym and go to school and still make time to volunteer. They really, really enjoy life. They are movers and shakers, real power players. They indulge selfishly in whatever they choose. Spoiling themselves at the drop of dime with whatever their heart desires at the time. Oh, the joys of single hood. No one to nag and question your style of dress of your whereabouts. No one to inquire "Why you ain't call me back." (Note to all single people everywhere: DON'T EVER ASK THAT. ever!!!) When you're single you are privileged; whatever, whenever, where ever, however, you call the shots. All the shots. You run the show, a one-person show, staring you, featuring you, directed by you. Beautiful. Right? Sounds like the life, right? Yeah, it is, really and truly...until you work so hard at that job you love so much and there is no one to rub your back. Simple solution-hit the spa. Treat yourself to a lavish massage and a day of pampering and spoiling. Soak in a hot bath filled with oils, flower peddles, milk and honey. Light your candles, burn your incense, play your music. All that good shit. Sometimes, you just want someone to do it for you. Yeah, you can do it all alone and not miss a beat. I never miss sleeping with someone, but sometimes I miss being held after sex. I don't get lonely, but when something extra extra great happens, you want someone to tell. Someone other than your fam and friends. It's like you got your great job, money and your gurls (or your boyz). Although that doesn't define you, you still feel like damn dats everything and yet, that's all?! Sometimes, just sometimes, you want to call someone to just get laid. Those be the times you can find no one. Leaving for the club, you're thinking yes! getting dressed, you are glad no one is giving you the why-you-gotta-go-out-face or the can-I-come-with-you-face. Getting ready for the club, you ain't got no one questioning your return home or why you look and smell so fucking good. While you at the club, you dancing and not feeling guilty about flirting with this person and that. Yet when you leave the club, and you want to get fucked real real good, bc you done drank too damn much. You lookin for that after-the-club booty call. You want someone to drive your drunk ass to get something hot to eat, instead you head home and eat whatever you can find and pass out. Only to have no one to bring you a red bull and orange juice and water or make your hungover ass some breakfast. No bath water waiting for you, no shower running, warming up for you. Unless you do it for you. Doing you is great, doing for you is even better, but remember, you x you=you. NO matter, how sexy or fly. NO matter how much lingerie and sexy trinkets are purchased, if no one is there to see, it's a tad disappointing. Collecting dust; and there ain't a damn thang sexy about dust. Toys looking at you look at them, and both y'all wondering when they going get played with. How simple is it to ask for nothing, but truly want everything. Someone always catches feelings, or someone ain't available as often as the other would like. Then you realize, you don't want someone to be that available, that would turn you off and send you running (fast as hell) in the other direction. Torn. Frustrated, because you want to be able to pick up the phone and say: take me out, come over, fuck me, massage me, spoil me, pamper to me, cater to me, then leave. Or not even leave right away, just hang around until you're dismissed. It's like if you don't want a relationship, you miss out on the perks of having one. But if you allow yourself to fall in love, you surrender a certain freedom. You want, what you want, when you want it. You want others to do as their told and wait for further instructions.