Can I have your Attention Please

Ladies. Has it really gotten to the point where we have to spell it out? I mean give me a break, cut a sista some slack. I understand you guys have gone and gotten touch with your "feminine side" but that's no reason to act like a bunch of pussies. We ladies, yes love being your equals, but for cryin out loud...man up. Life if full of challenges, stop making excuses. Get with the program. We still like a man to be a man. Still want you to climb the highest mountain and cross the freaken desert to cater to our every whim. It's not just the pregnant women who wants you to get up in the middle of the night and get them a fruit cup...or perhaps after sex while we're making you a sandwich, you could, I don't know...get prepped for round two. One less "job" we as ladies will have to do. Of course, you know, this sexy didn't just happen. So maybe while we're getting the kids ready for school or ironing your clothes, you could be somewhere, cutting up the lemon for my water or boiling water for my tea. *sigh* I admire all that you do do. I see and appreciate it. Believe me I do, just read back to "Can the Fellas have the Floor." So it's not you to whom I am speaking. It's the rest of you lames who just can't get right. Just can't get right. I'm goin find that handbook on "How to Date a Goddess" and distribute it to the masses. Stand atop the highest building and make it rain...knowledge!(...wait that's right, I haven't written it yet...but in the meantime I leave you this blog) I am speaking to all those who whine that gas it too high, it ain't getting any cheaper...you live too far, not moving any closer...you're such a priss...so what it's ice on the ground, you will bury in my stilletos. What is going on out there? What are you doing? And what is with all this unavailable bull crap...when I call you come. No questions asked. Just do what I want and there would be no problems. No naggin, no stressing, no fussing. If she is angry with you, ask yourself what you did to disappoint her. If she is throwing dishes, as you run and duck, ponder over what you said that made her behaive that way. Surely there is a reason. Clearly, this well groomed woman would not go poppin off at the lip and flyin off at the mouth if YOUUUUUU had not fueled that fire. Perhaps you didn't do something that she asked of you. tisk tisk tisk...shame on you mister Perhaps you didn't do something that she should NOT have to ask you to do. Compliment her new hair cut, notice her new shoes, wash her car, tell her she's lookin great, the yoga and running is really payin off. Who knows??!!! Y'all are so clueless. The point is figure it out and figure it out fast. You will lose her. I tell you kind sir, just as the sun shines. You will lose her. She will be a favorite memory in the distant wind. She will leave you spellbound, so much so, you'll beg the heavens to send her your way again. But alas, with no luck. Your bride to be, sweet lady in waiting; your fair maiden is gone, for gold she has struck. There is a man out there just waiting and willing to sweep her off her feet. He is eager to take your princess and make her his queen. He is ready to do all the things you will not. He is trained in all the things that leave you stumped and perplexed. He loves her already and while she is busy loving you, he is waiting. Watching as you make one bad judgement call after another. He sees all your mistakes, even ones that slipped her eye. Oh he knows, you smirk a smug look but, he knows. He knows because he is like you. He too, once lost his greatest love to a much better suitor. Sad, but beacuse of it, he knows better. He knows now what it takes, what it actually entales to keep a woman, a real woman satisfied/tamed. He understands, work and God above all. The only difference between you and him, is right after GOD, there is his woman. He is man enough to admit, he would be less of a man without her. Work would be meaningless if he wasn't working to better their lives, spoil her, protect her. I his eyes she can do no wrong. I his heart, nothing is unforgivable and he denies her nothing. Gives her, everything. Her every want, fulfilled. Before she even has to ask. He does it all and then does some more. He meets her desires and then surpasses the expectations. So y'all keep spending all dat time with your boys. Y'all keep on being too busy. Don't say ne' word when you finally take a moment to look up and notice that she is gone. Sad part about that is, y'all so self absorbed you won't even notice right away. It may take a lil while, but trust, keep on and uh uh uh...you'll see nothing but a trail of stilleto prints. We're far too busy for dear john letters (all that writing/typing is compromising to our nail polish), but you can check her mood on myspace;)