I wanted to Call

I wanted to call but my heart wouldn't let me. See I keep locked it in my chest, not on my sleeve. I wanted to call. Had to have thought about it 1,000 times. Had to have started to dial at least 1,001. Thinking bout dats how many times you make me cum. Our escapades are always fun. Quite the adventurous one. Yet that does not a reason to call make. I go over it so many times inside, it begins to ache. And when I begin to break, just have to walk away...I go to purple or orange before to black I fade. I wanted to call, but before this butterfly turns gray, I had to say: no never mind, no not tonight. What's the odd he'd even answer, let alone come rushing to your side. See for those very reasons I said no. I decided to do a mani/pedi and experiment with more colors. I normally wouldn't mix, keep it simple and plain. Now I got cuddle pink on my toes and honeystar yellow nails, I'll only be this age once...so I say what the hell. I wanted to call but what the heck for...I didn't expect you to talk for too long, that's if you even answered. I wanted to call and hear your voice. I wanted you to soothe me and compliment me, uplift and reassure me. I wanted to hear you talk nasty and call me your queen. I wanted all the things, I knew the conversation would not be. We used to talk the same language, now your tongue is foreign to me. The words don't sound the same. Can't pick up the dialect. I've even tried sign language, put it right in front your face. But I'm bout ready to disconnect, for fear of time being wasted. I wanted to call and the conversation to lead to kisses, but here I am and your lips I do not taste. Here I am and here I wait. Seems that is all I do. I wanted to call, but I can't keep waiting on you. I wanted to hear your words, whisper softly in my ear. I wanted to breathe in your baritone and smell the taste of your laugh. I wanted all the things, I knew I could not have. I wanted to call, dear friend, trust me when I say. I wanted to call suga baby and be hugged up tight in whatever it was you may have wanted to say. You got me so confused, all I know is I gotta stop wanting you that you way. I wanted to call you and while wanting I imagined conversations like we had in the beginning. I wanted to call and feel you want me that way again. I wanted to call and I wanted to be cool and show no emotion. I wanted to call and play dumb to the commotion. that wreaks havoc in my head and in my chest. I wanted to call but at that time I wanted nothing but the best. Guess most would call it selfish. I wanted to call and I wanted it to be all about me. I wanted to be on the receiving end of what you once spoiled me with. I wanted it better than ever, man I sure am ruined! I wanted to call but I knew it wouldn't turn out like I wanted. I wanted to talk to you only, so on all the others I fronted. I played and dismissed and ignore the efforts. I wanted to call you, but then I wasn't to sure about it. I wanted to call and let your conversation arouse me like your kiss. I wanted to call and be lost in the fairytale of you. I wanted my ever after and I wanted to be rescued. I wanted to call and hear Baby I understand, Lady it will OK. I wanted to hear you'll always be there and all the other "right" things to say. I wanted to pick up the phone and hear you on the other end. But I was busy getting used to...us being... just friends