With these Hands

I run my 2-5 miles. Push back the wind with arms at my sides. With these hands, I roll my jays and pour my liquor.Be it wine or vodka, then I write in my journal. I pour my cup of tea and add my milk and sugar. I flip pages in the Bible. I prepare my meals and pick the flowers. I put on my makeup and take pictures of me wearing nothing but and accessories. I strap up my stilletos. I run bath water and add fruit and honey, milk and oils. I light my candles and burn my inscence. I spray on my parfume. With these hands that in the past have caressed the flesh of man, only to later wipe away the tears when no man is no where to be found. I adjust the weights on my glute machine, then punch in the digits to increase the speed and incline on the treadmill. With these hands I sit open palms in lotus. With these hands in namaste I stand in tree and with these hands I balance in downward dog. Reverse to upward dog, plank and then repeat. With these hands I meditate and a soft om reverberates. With these hands extended in proud warrior...I pull open my curtains and flood my life with the light. With these hands I dance in the rain or at the sides of many women. With these hands I play my music loud and use them for gestures to express my point. With these hands with freshly painted polish, I pray. I pray for deliverance, intercession and peace. I pray for the those that represent the company that owns the lot where Heritage Church International praises. With these hands I stand my ground and write these words. Tow truck facing the temple, threatening to bring harm to its members. Issues over parking, I mean come on, people, parking. Not that we're a super huge congregration, but because we are a mighty small group whose grounds are expanding and interferring with a much wanted liquor liscence. Men shouting they care nothing about God. Woman, nasty and devilish with her tongue. She opens her lips and biles spills out. It didn't help that the wicked oppressors were white and the congregation was black. I ask you, with hands extended, what on earth is going on in the world in which we live? On a Sunday, talk about going thru Hell to get to Heaven. Racism, hatred, opression, wickedness, still alive and well. The devil is alive and well, working deligently. "I don't care nothing about no God." Heathen, no no no. Lost soul that he is. It was shocking to witness...even more shocking to be a victim of such ignorance. I prayed for him. I prayed for all of them. To disturb church goers in route to worship *confused look* Like how does one get the balls to go up against GOD???...I am speechless. With this mouth that has done wrong in the past, tasted temptation...now praises God for a new beginning. With this mouth, that has kissed the scratches and scrapes of flesh, scars of the wounded...spoken words of love only to learn, that she has never truly known love. With this mouth and these hands, together realizing the error of her past, looking forward to future. With these hands and this mouth and I am wiser. I did not engage in a war of words, (and normally I'da busted off, Im talking seriously unloaded the clip on dat ass) I simply asked their names. I simply got their names and the name of the company. Between this pen and my God, this will never happen again. I, ever the believer, still am ever afraid to walk to the front of the church..today I walked to the front of the church. Today I let tears fall on the alter. Today I let it show. I was nervous about shouting out Amen and praise. I was not nervous about raising my hand(s) Today I removed a very cute necklace from where it rested around my throat. It hangs with the bottom landing exactly at my belly button. Today I wrapped that gold rosary I got from my best friend around my wrist and did it so the cross rest in the palm of my hand. My dominant hand, my right hand...lifted in a sparkling worship. I let the garnet stones glitter under the church lights. And I sang, and I prayed and I let Thy will be done. I gave my life over to Christ (as I do all day e'ry day) in hopes that with these words that drip from these hands, I can give birth to change. I walked into that house not knowing what to expect. I walked in a saw all the ways I want to help, build up that temple, build up that congregation. I walked out, a woman. I went in a girl, I walked out a woman. I held down my family and friends and represented. I found my voice. It speaks to you today. "You wannna change the world, nigga start from your corner." OK, that wasn't my voice, a quote, but you catch my drift. Today, fear lives here no longer. From this day forth, I speak right, even when others may feel it is wrong, even when others don't agree. From this day worth, I will give back to the community in which I was raised. As the Bishop spoke of action versus simply praying, when he spoke of keeping it real in prayer and not speaking what one may think God wants to hear, made me that more confident when I tell people, God is hommie. We kick it all the time and when I pray I tell him jokes. I felt more confident in the fact that I say all the, He has a sense of humor. It was rather ironic, that faith be tested on the temple grounds...just outstide the temple walls. As he spoke of selfless service, it reminded me of the article about Ayurveda (a form of yoga or the bridge from self to yoga) and all that it was talking about. As the Bishop spoke of how he was meditating on this one particular scripture for years, I was further reminding of how deeply I am connected to our God. As he quoted scripture that included the exact words I put in my mood this morning on facebook, I was futher taken abreath to the fact I am one with universe. As are we all. Laugh in the face of adversity. Be the intercessor for someone else, for God is fighting your battles. Who are you fighting for? From this day on, I will gladly take a stand and put alot of energy into self less service. From this day forward, I will continue to be the intercessor, for even though I can't save them all. I will continue to try. With these hands and this mouth, with these words and this heart...