Hopeless Romantic

Sitting here in the hair salon gettin bombed out by my gurlz. Laughin so bad my cheeks are red & hurt. They're pickin w/ me about my bad choice in men. My past is littered w/ 1 abusive relationship after another. One psycho stalker after another. Basically, beat me, lie 2 me, cheat on me, talk 2 me any kinda way & then when I leave them, they stalk me.Its cool tho. I'm betta now & fully understand the reasons why I chose who I did. I was broken & attracted broken individuals. W/o saving myself always savin them. Never thought 2 help myself. Even when it was all about me, I would find the success overwhelmingly lonely & allow the 1st lame to swoop n & fuck it all up. But like I said, I have recognized the error of my ways & live comfortably now in my own skin, w/ my own voice. At the end of the day, I am me, as I am, flaws & all & I say this bc even w/ all I've been thru...i am still not in search of the "one" or the perfect man. I'm not even dating or havin casual sex. Nor do I agree w/ a magic formula, time allotted plan for everlasting love. People feel 1 must b super successful, career in tact, & blah blah THEN think about fallin in love. Even then its be friends for a loonnnnng time, commit, then wait even more time for sex, then live happily ever after. Bullshit. Sure its great for those who feel that falling in love can be solved by way of adding & subtracting certain variables. I still believe in love at first sight, still believe in soulmates. Still believe love conquers all. My gurls have placed themselves in charge of screening all potential suitors. I honestly laugh @ this histerically. I know now how 2 spot a man, not by society's definition but by how I define myself as a woman. I know fo sure @ this stage in the game, a man would go bananas tryin to figure me out. I know there's 2 much of me 4 a man 2 handle. I will not apologize for that. I am who God intended. I wonder, if I'm the last of my kind. Did He really break the mold when he created me in His image? I say that bc, I feel like no other.